Learning Objectives

1. Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
2. Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing.
3. Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft.

Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing process. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek better images, a more clever design, or a more appealing background for their web pages. Writing has the same capacity to profit from improvement and revision.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention.

• When you revise, you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
• When you edit, you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.

Tip

How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them over the course of this semester; then keep using the ones that bring results.

• Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively.
• Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism.
• Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?
• Use the resources that your college provides. Find out where your school’s writing lab is located and ask about the assistance they provide online and in person.

Many people hear the words critic, critical, and criticism and pick up only negative vibes that provoke feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. However, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look.

Creating Unity and Coherence

Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea.

When a piece of writing has unity, all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence, the ideas flow smoothly. The wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Tip

Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled “Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?” But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them.

Nothing is more confusing to me than choosing among televisions. It confuses lots of people who want a new high-definition digital television (HDTV) with a large screen to watch sports and DVDs on. You could listen to the guys in the electronics store, but word has it they know little more than you do. They want to sell what they have in stock, not what best fits your needs. You face decisions you never had to make with the old, bulky picture-tube televisions. Screen resolution means the number of horizontal scan lines the screen can show. This resolution is often 1080p, or full HD, or 768p. The trouble is that if you have a smaller screen, 32 inches or 37 inches diagonal, you won’t be able to tell the difference with the naked eye. The 1080p televisions cost more, though, so those are what the salespeople want you to buy. They get bigger commissions. The other important decision you face as you walk around the sales floor is whether to get a plasma screen or an LCD screen. Now here the salespeople may finally give you decent info. Plasma flat-panel television screens can be much larger in diameter than their LCD rivals. Plasma screens show truer blacks and can be viewed at a wider angle than current LCD screens. But be careful and tell the salesperson you have budget constraints. Large flat-panel plasma screens are much more expensive than flat-screen LCD models. Don’t let someone make you by more television than you need!

Exercise 1

1. Answer the following two questions about Mariah’s paragraph:
   1. Do you agree with Mariah’s decision to make the deletions she made? Did she cut too much, too little, or just enough? Explain.
   2. Is the explanation of what screen resolution means a digression? Or is it audience friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph? Explain.Collaboration
   Please share with a classmate and compare your answers.
2. Now start to revise the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft”. Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.

Tip

When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Writing at Work

Many companies hire copyeditors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Copyeditors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for any errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a variety of clients.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Table 8.3 “Common Transitional Words and Phrases” groups many common transitions according to their purpose.

Table 8.3 Common Transitional Words and Phrases

Transitions That Show Sequence or Timeafterbeforelaterafterwardbefore longmeanwhileas soon asfinallynextat firstfirst, second, thirdsoonat lastin the first placethenTransitions That Show Positionaboveacrossat the bottomat the topbehindbelowbesidebeyondinsidenearnext tooppositeto the left, to the right, to the sideunderwhereTransitions That Show a Conclusionindeedhencein conclusionin the final analysisthereforethusTransitions That Continue a Line of Thoughtconsequentlyfurthermoreadditionallybecausebesides the factfollowing this idea furtherin additionin the same waymoreoverlooking furtherconsidering…, it is clear that Transitions That Change a Line of Thoughtbutyethoweverneverthelesson the contraryon the other handTransitions That Show Importanceabove allbestespeciallyin factmore importantmost importantmostworst Transitions That Introduce the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essayfinallylastin conclusionmost of allleast of alllast of allAll-Purpose Transitions to Open Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphsadmittedlyat this pointcertainlygrantedit is truegenerally speakingin generalin this situationno doubtno one deniesobviouslyof courseto be sureundoubtedlyunquestionablyTransitions that Introduce Examplesfor instancefor example Transitions That Clarify the Order of Events or Stepsfirst, second, thirdgenerally, furthermore, finallyin the first place, also, lastin the first place, furthermore, finallyin the first place, likewise, lastly 

After Maria revised for unity, she next examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Tip

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.

Exercise 2

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph.

1. Do you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain.
2. What transition words or phrases did Mariah add to her paragraph? Why did she choose each one?
3. What effect does adding additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph? Explain. When you read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? Explain.

2. Now return to the first draft of the essay you wrote in Section 8 “Writing Your Own First Draft” and revise it for coherence. Add transition words and phrases where they are needed, and make any other changes that are needed to improve the flow and connection between ideas.

Being Clear and Concise

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise.

If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, because it makes your ideas clear, direct, and straightforward.

• Sentences that begin with There is or There are.
  Wordy: There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
  Revised: The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
• Sentences with unnecessary modifiers.
  Wordy: Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation.
  Revised: Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.
• Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of, with a mind to, on the subject of, as to whether or not, more or less, as far as…is concerned, and similar expressions. You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point.
  Wordy: As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy.
  A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation.
  Revised: As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy.
  A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation.
• Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be. Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be, which can lead to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when you can.
  Wordy: It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
  Revised: Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction.
• Sentences with constructions that can be shortened.
  Wordy: The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.
  My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too.
  Revised: The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.
  My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers.

Exercise 3

Now return once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words. Try making your sentences as concise as they can be.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. For more information about word choice, see Chapter 4 “Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?”.

• Avoid slang. Find alternatives to bummer, kewl, and rad.
• Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about “men and women” rather than “girls and guys” unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal language.
• Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m, have not in place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.
• Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy, face the music, better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience.
• Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
• Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited.
• Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

Exercise 4

1. Answer the following questions about Mariah’s revised paragraph:

1. Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explain in your own words how changes in word choice have affected Mariah’s writing.
2. Do you agree with the changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which changes would you keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other changes would you have made?
3. What effect does removing contractions and the pronoun you have on the tone of the paragraph? How would you characterize the tone now? Why?

2. Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.

You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is most helpful, the reader’s feedback will help you when you revise your draft. This process is called peer review.

You can work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other’s essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a final draft that fits the audience and the purpose. Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Writer’s name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer’s name: _________________________________________

1. This essay is about____________________________________________.
2. Your main points in this essay are____________________________________________.
3. What I most liked about this essay is____________________________________________.
4. These three points struck me as your strongest:
   a. Point: ____________________________________________
   Why: ____________________________________________
   b. Point: ____________________________________________
   Why: ____________________________________________
   c. Point: ____________________________________________
   Why: ____________________________________________
5. These places in your essay are not clear to me:
   a. Where: ____________________________________________
   Needs improvement because__________________________________________
   b. Where: ____________________________________________
   Needs improvement because ____________________________________________
   c. Where: ____________________________________________
   Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

• The one additional change you could make that would improve this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

Writing at Work

One of the reasons why word-processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that workgroups have become a common feature in many businesses. Writing is often collaborative, and the members of a workgroup and their supervisors often critique group members’ work and offer feedback that will lead to a better final product.

Exercise 5

Exchange essays with a classmate and complete a peer review of each other’s draft in progress. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author.

Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:

1. Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.
2. Determine if the suggested revisions are appropriate to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback.

Exercise 6

Work with two partners. Go back to Note 8.81 “Exercise 4” in this lesson and compare your responses to Activity A, about Mariah’s paragraph, with your partners’. Recall Mariah’s purpose for writing and her audience. Then, working individually, list where you agree and where you disagree about revision needs.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.

The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment.

Tip

Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:

• Readers do not notice correct spelling, but they do notice misspellings.
• Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly constructed, and frustrating to read.
• Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.
• Readers do not cheer when you use there, their, and they’re correctly, but they notice when you do not.
• Readers will notice the care with which you handled your assignment and your attention to detail in the delivery of an error-free document..

The first section of this book offers a useful review of grammar, mechanics, and usage. Use it to help you eliminate major errors in your writing and refine your understanding of the conventions of language. Do not hesitate to ask for help, too, from peer tutors in your academic department or in the college’s writing lab. In the meantime, use the checklist to help you edit your writing.

Checklist

Editing Your Writing

Grammar

• Are some sentences actually sentence fragments?
• Are some sentences run-on sentences? How can I correct them?
• Do some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?
• Does every verb agree with its subject?
• Is every verb in the correct tense?
• Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
• Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
• Have I used who and whom correctly?
• Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?
• Do all personal pronouns agree with their antecedents?
• Have I used the correct comparative and superlative forms of adjectives and adverbs?
• Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is it a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

• Are all my sentences simple sentences, or do I vary my sentence structure?
• Have I chosen the best coordinating or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?
• Have I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?
• Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

• Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?
• Can I justify the use of every exclamation point?
• Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?
• Have I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

• Can I find any spelling errors? How can I correct them?
• Have I used capital letters where they are needed?
• Have I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?
• Can I find any errors in the use of commonly confused words, such as to/too/two?

Tip

Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Tip

Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.

If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed.

Formatting

Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. Sometimes an instructor, a department, or a college will require students to follow specific instructions on titles, margins, page numbers, or the location of the writer’s name. These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association (APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment.

Exercise 7

With the help of the checklist, edit and proofread your essay.

Key Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your work before producing a final draft.
• During revising, you add, cut, move, or change information in order to improve content.
• During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences you used to express your ideas and fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
• Unity in writing means that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer’s wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, appropriate words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback about their writing. It is the writer’s responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate only useful feedback.
• Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Use all available resources, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution’s writing lab, to improve your editing skills.

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In responding to you’re the first two peers, offer additional suggestions on the work they chose. Do you agree or disagree with their assessment of the use of musical elements?

Michael post

The song I have chosen is Policticians in my eyes by The Band Death.  I have chosen this song as a my choice of The American story due to the style of music. The song written and record in Detroit during the height of Mo-Town death is considered to be one of the first "punk" bands in America. Originally a funk band before changing to a protopunk sound, The heavy guitars taking rifts from the upcoming british rock scene inwoven with the detroit mo-town/funk bass lines and traditional drums, I believe this sound to be american in nature due to it's melting pot style of various musical influences. 

James post

The reason why the United States develop a style of music that was different from Europe is due to the Romantic period. A period that lasted around 1780 to 1910 that inspired a sense of nationalism and their own uniqueness based on the types of elements that is incorporated within a music. For instance, in Russia at the time, the harmony element was an element to tackle as Russian creativity was emphasized on the inertia and self-enclosed tableaux in order to create a uniqueness. Compared to western harmony which worked against the idea in order to propel the music onward and shape it (Brown, Final, 422, 432–34).   

In terms of what musical elements that create what might be called the “American” sound, it think it's the emphasis on the harmony element taking the lead that makes American sound more distinct when compared to other western counterparts such as Great Britain. While at the same time, not being over constantly over the top and keeping a low but free flow in a sense. For instance, the United State National anthem starts low with the harmony varying a little from time to time until the climax. While not a song from the time period, another song I think fits the bill is a song called "Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver which also seem to displays similarily. 

RESPOND TO STUDENT POST IN 100 WORDS

REGINA POST

Hello everyone. 

1.Provide an overview of the biological, psychological, sociocultural theories surrounding the causes of substance use disorders.

Biological theories suggest that brain chemistry, brain structure, and genetic abnormalities cause behavior (Horvath, Misra). This basically means we are born with substance use disorder already in our DNA. 

Psychological theories claim that addiction is caused by abnormalities or "Psychopathology" that manifests itself as mental illness, that people learn unhealthy behavior in response to the environment, and that peoples thoughts and beliefs create their feelings in turns determines their behavior (Horvath, Misra).

Sociocultural theories state that cultural standards of a society and the negative effects of culture and society on individual behavior causes addiction (Harvath, Misra).

  2.Next, select one of the theories (biological causes, psychological causes, or sociocultural causes) and defend and support how the selected approach can explain why people use psychoactive drugs, such as the individual in this week’s case study.

I chose psychological theory. This states our environment affects us. I think that this is true. If a person grows up around drugs and alcohol it becomes normal to them. They are more likely to start using themselves as teens or later on in life. The same is if there is alot of drug activities in their neighborhood where its across the street or on street corners. Peer pressure also plays a role in drug and alcohol use specially for teens who want to fit in with certain people or groups. 

   3. Based on the selected cause, explain why it is difficult for a person to stop the drug or alcohol use and addiction.

Addictions exert long and powerful influence on the brain that manifests in three distinct ways. First craving for the object of addiction, second loss of control over it's use and finally continuing involvement with it despite adverse consequences (Harvard health). When using drugs it makes a short cut so to speak to the reward system part of the brain which releases a lot of dopamine. Since addiction is learned and stored in the brain as a memory, recovery is a slow and hesitant process in which the influence of those memories diminishes (Harvard health).  Basically since it is learned a person needs to retrain and start to think differently in order to stop use. Back in the 1930's it was believed that addiction was caused by addictive behavior that the person had no self control, will power and was flawed. Today we recognize addiction as a chronic disease that changes both brain structure and function (Harvard health).  For these reasons it is hard to stop use of alcohol or substances. 

MANDY POST

When treating substance use disorders, it is important to look at several factors: biology, psychology, and sociocultural status. There are essential elements to each of these areas that contribute to addictions. For example, according to Harvard Health (2011) in twin studies, addiction is highly inheritable, with 40-60% of susceptibility to addiction being hereditary. In the case study of Ellis, the opioid substance user, he grew up in a home with an alcoholic which means that there is a higher probability that Ellis would become an addict himself as an adult, which he did (Purdue.edu, n.d.). Psychological elements of addiction include how the substance is being reinforced, and whether there are any comorbid mental disorders (Harvard Health, 2011). In Ellis’ case, the alcohol and light drug use increased to him becoming a heroin addict. This probably occurred as Ellis began needed more and harder substances to obtain the same high or reward from the brain’s pleasure center (Purdue.edu, n.d.; Harvard Health, 2011). The third factor to consider is the sociocultural aspect of substance abuse. This takes into consideration the social status, the financial status, and the support systems of the individual (Durand & Barlow, 2013). In Ellis’ situation, he grew up with an alcoholic father and a passive mother (Purdue.edu, n.d.). This situation left little in the way of a positive support system and as he grew, his need for substances increased which made his financial status decline. With this decline comes other psychological issues such as anxiety and depression.

•Next, select one of the theories (biological causes, psychological causes, or sociocultural causes) and defend and support how the selected approach can explain why people use psychoactive drugs, such as the individual in this week’s case study.

According to Durand and Barlow (2013) the psychological dimensions of addiction can include both positive and negative reinforcements, and cognitive factors. The idea is that if the addiction is being positively or negatively reinforced people are more likely to decide to continue with the addiction (Durand & Barlow, 2013). For example, if a person receives some kind of pleasure reward from doing a certain drug such as a high, they will be more likely to continue with this behavior. This is an example of positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement involves removing something to keep the behavior. For example, if a person is in pain, then they will take narcotics to relieve this pain, if the narcotics help, they are more likely to use these narcotics in the future.

One psychological theory about addiction is referred to as psychopathological model of addiction. This model sees mental disorder as the root cause of addiction (Horvath, Misra, Epner, and Cooper, 2015). These mental disorders can include mood disturbances, cognitive difficulties, or other mental illnesses (Horvath et al., 2015). In fact, around half of the individuals who are seeking addiction treatment also have another significant mental disorder (Horvath et al., 2015). It seems clear that mental disorders have some influence on addiction.

The psychological theories of addiction seem to help explain Ellis’ situation. He began using drugs at an early age, and as he grew he used harder and harder substances (Purdue.edu, n.d.). This could have indicated that there is another mental disorder that needs to be addressed such as depression. Therefore, further testing should be done to help Ellis completely. Also, to keep the same level of positive reinforcement, Ellis needed to use higher quantities of drugs. This led him down a path where nothing but this positive reinforcement was as important to him.

•Based on the selected cause, explain why it is difficult for a person to stop the drug or alcohol use and addiction.

Based on the psychological theories and the psychopathological model of addiction, it is difficult for Ellis to cease his drug use. If he is indeed suffering from another mental disorder that is untreated, he is essentially fighting two forces that are pushing him towards seeking reinforcement. For example, the substance use disorder causes him to seek drugs as positive reinforcement to his brain’s pleasure center, while he could be simultaneously using the drugs to rid himself of other symptoms of mental disorders. Essentially attempting to numb the pain of other psychological factors which is a form of negative reinforcement. This dual situation makes it very difficult for Ellis to not only seek help for his addiction, but also to maintain recovery.

 Jasmine post

I agree with the changes. I don't believe there is any possible way someone of another heritage can come to America and not adopt American ways. I also believe that it is necessary for them to adopt certain ways so they can live comfortably here in American. It would be hard to try living the way that they live in their country over here in America because a lot is different here and it would be hard to adjust to our ways if they don't want to adopt some of our ways.

MARCUS POST

 

Cultural pluralism believes that all ethnic and national minorities deserve the freedom to follow their own cultures within a dominant society, while, at the same time, contributing to society as a whole. Basically, this means that different cultures should peacefully coexist with each other. The melting pot theory advocates a blending of all cultures to form a resultant, homogeneous culture, which is unique and different from all the original cultures. Cultural pluralism is often compared to a bowl of salad or a mosaic. Just like a bowl of salad is not homogeneous, and each of its ingredients retains its character despite contributing to the overall flavor, a pluralistic society shows the contribution of different cultures, which maintain their individuality. A melting pot, like its name suggests, is compared to a metallurgical melting pot or boiling stew. Just as meat and vegetables completely lose their identity after boiling, and form a new substance called a stew, and different metals mix together in a melting pot to form a completely new alloy, the melting pot model forms a unique society from the mixture of all cultures, but is similar to none.

JUDITH POST

 

I believe we learn from the moment we are born. While children are said to be innocent, they learn from the adults around them. I'm often at my local breakfast spot (my good friend owns a small diner). There is a regular there who brings her grandsons in every few days (along with her ex-husband, their grandpa). One day, the 2 boys (about 4 and 6) were sitting on the stools at the counter, spinning (like all kids do there) and one demanded a glass of water from the waitress ("Get me a glass of water"). Neither adult with the kids corrected him, and the waitress said, "Please may I have a glass of water" and got the 6 year old water. The 4 year old then said "Get me one too". The grandpa said "Don't get him one, they can share" to the waitress. WHAT? He never corrected the kids…I was astonished. These kids are not going to learn manners. What else will they learn or not learn?

This is how easy it is for kids to act in ways that are then reinforced (for better or worse) by adults. Where did they learn NOT to say please, for example?

Class, what are some examples of children and discrimination?

FIRST PAPERModule 2 – Case

CRITICALLY REVIEWING A RESEARCH ARTICLE

Case Assignment

1. Begin Module 2 by first viewing the webinar, Critiquing a Research Article.
2. Read the two articles on critiquing Qualitative and Quantitative Research. 
3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWIeIdsmMHQ
4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTgsuU9ROLw 
5. After completing steps 1 and 2, use the same topic that you selected in Module 1 and identify a qualitative and a quantitative research article.

Assignment Expectations

Using the information in the webinar and articles, write a 1-page critique of the Qualitative article and a 1-page critique of the Quantitative article. All references should be from a publication no more than three years old  (2013 to current).

SECOND PAPER 1 PAGE

Module 2 – SLP

CRITICALLY REVIEWING A RESEARCH ARTICLE

Editorial #1:

Getting Rid of Gun Control

Virginia finally is poised to repeal its unusual law that prohibits law-abiding citizens from buying more than one gun per month.

It's about time, because the red tape has not had the desired effect in lowering crime. There is no academic research by criminologists or economists that shows that one-gun-a-month regulations reduce crime in either the states that pass them or their neighbors. The laws have merely inconvenienced honest Americans who want to buy guns. Besides Virginia, only Maryland, California and New Jersey still have these laws. South Carolina was the first state to adopt the restrictions in 1976 but repealed the limit in 2004. New Jersey has had the law on the books for less than two months now. Contrary to the nanny-state notion that gun control is good, gun limitations are actually harmful. The book “The Bias Against Guns” shows that one-gun-a-month rules significantly reduce the number of gun shows, because they reduce the number of sales that can occur. For the same reason, it's likely the regulation reduces the number of gun dealers. The reduction in legal sources to buy guns can raise the cost of law-abiding citizens buying guns relative to criminals, and thus disarm good people relative to criminals. The book “More Guns, Less Crime,” the only peer-reviewed research on one-gun-a-month restrictions, from the University of Chicago Press, shows the laws either have no effect or a detrimental effect on violent crime. The Brady Campaign claims that Virginia's one-gun-a-month law reduced the number of crime guns traced to Virginia dealers, but it provides no link to crime rates, which is ultimately the bottom line. If people around the nation's capital should understand anything, it is how hard it is to keep criminals from getting guns. The District of Columbia banned handguns entirely, and murder rates still soared. Criminals got a hold of guns despite the law, because by nature they don't care about breaking laws, and they can't buy guns legally anyway. The question ought to be focused on whom these laws prevent from getting guns, and the evidence is that law-abiding citizens are the ones who are stopped. One-gun-a-month rules are similar to gun bans and waiting periods, which tend to disarm victims relative to criminals, and therefore, increase crime. If possible, it's a good idea to keep guns from criminals, but laws that make it more difficult for law-abiding citizens to get guns relative to criminals cause more harm than good. In the case of the right to keep and bear arms, safety and freedom go together. —Washington Times, February 19, 2010 ————————————————-

Editorial #2:

Firearms Still Easily Available

Three years have passed since the massacre at Virginia Tech that took the lives of 32 innocent people, including my sister Reema. I look back over the past 1,097 days since my sister died and wonder how it is still legal for criminals and people with serious mental illness to buy guns without passing a background check. Reema was killed because of a gap in Virginia's gun background check system that allowed a mentally ill man to buy weapons. Even though a court determined that he was mentally ill and therefore prohibited from purchasing and possessing guns, his record of mental illness was not in the background check system. Thankfully, following recommendations of the Virginia Tech review panel, action was taken at the state and federal level to help get missing mental health and criminal records into the background check system. The number of mental health records submitted to the federal instant background check system has tripled from 298,571 (as of Dec. 31, 2006) prior to the Virginia Tech massacre to 932,559 (as of March 31, 2010). Unfortunately, the problem doesn't end there. Criminals, the mentally ill, and even terrorists are still able to purchase firearms from gun shows with no background check whatsoever. Federal law requires every licensed gun dealer to conduct criminal background checks on all purchasers. But dealers without licenses are selling guns at gun shows without these checks. According to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF), 30 percent of guns in federal illegal trafficking investigations are connected to gun shows. This Gun Show Loophole is exploited by criminals and those who know they cannot pass a background check. Last May, I went to a gun show in Richmond to see for myself. I bought 10 guns in less than one hour. No background check. No identification. No questions asked. It was as easy as buying a bag of chips at a grocery store; simple cash and carry. Luckily, I'm not a criminal. What’s clear is that anyone, even criminals, can go to any gun show and buy an unlimited number of guns, without undergoing a background check. It's hard to believe, but it's true. And there's nothing to stop them from doing it over and over again. Three years have passed and the Gun Show Loophole still remains intact. The solution is simple: Congress should pass legislation to require background checks for all sales at gun shows. Sen. Jim Webb and Sen. Mark Warner, the families of the Virginia Tech victims and survivors are counting on your leadership. Closing the loophole will not affect the Second Amendment rights of law-abiding gun owners. But it will help ensure that guns do not end up in the hands of people who, because they are a danger to society, have lost the right to own them. In May 2009 my father and I, and several other Virginia Tech family members, met with Sen. Webb to ask for his support for legislation to close the Gun Show Loophole. What impressed us was how seriously he took the issue and his promise to work in Congress to fix this problem. It has been almost 11 months since that meeting, three years since the tragedy at Virginia Tech, and no action has been taken to move this lifesaving legislation forward. I hope that all Virginians will stand with the families of the Virginia Tech victims and survivors in calling on Sens. Webb and Warner to get behind this effort. Closing the Gun Show Loophole won't bring my sister Reema back, or any of the other victims of the mass shooting at Virginia Tech. But it would save an untold number of innocent lives. It's been three years. The time to act is now. Sen. Webb and Sen. Warner, what are you waiting for? —Richmond Times-Dispatch, April 20, 2010 ————————————————-

Editorial #3:

Virginia Handgun Law: Don't Reopen the Pipeline of Guns

Seventeen years ago, pressured by its neighbors to stem the flow of guns into the Northeast, Virginia enacted a bipartisan bill that limited the purchase of handguns to one every 30 days. Virtually overnight, experts say, the “Iron Pipeline” slowed and the number of guns used in crimes in New Jersey and traced to Virginia fell sharply. But now a Virginia legislator wants to turn his state back into one of New Jersey’s leading arsenals. A bill proposed by L. Scott Lingamfelter, a Republican, has cleared the House of Delegates, with mostly Republican support, and is headed for the state Senate, which is controlled by Democrats. There the bill’s chances are uncertain, but if it passes, Gov. Bob McDonnell intends to sign it. Virginia’s gun-running days could be back again. Lingamfelter, a retired Army colonel, insists Virginians’ Second Amendment rights are being restricted. The current law “rations constitutional rights,” he says; “It hasn’t reduced crime. It has reduced commerce.” Lingamfelter says the National Instant Check System, which wasn’t around in 1993, can keep felons from purchasing guns. Maybe, but many of the guns that end up in New Jersey are purchased by “straw buyers” — people with valid Virginia drivers licenses who act as purchasing agents for a fee. New Jersey officials — from U.S. senators to police chiefs — are wondering what Virginia lawmakers are thinking. In a gun-trafficking study of 2008, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives determined that, even with the reduced flow, Virginia still ranked third among outside states providing guns used in New Jersey crimes. Repealing Virginia’s firearm law will mean hundreds more guns on New Jersey streets each year, many married to a violent, criminal intent. To argue that the law is an onerous burden on law-abiding gun buyers is silly. Virginians can buy 12 guns a year. How many do they need? —Star-Ledger (Newark, NJ), February 22, 2010 

LITERATURE REVIEW WORKSHEET #2:

GUN CONTROL AND VIRGINIA

• Which of the three articles was the most persuasive? Why?
• Which of the three articles was the least persuasive? Why?

Are there any important issues regarding gun control that are not covered by these three pieces, but that you would write about if you were addressing this topic?

 IT Management
: Undergraduate
: Research Paper
: English (U.S.)
: 17 pages/4675 words
:MLA  

3 sources due in 2 days 

 ANALYSIS: 
1. Project topic AND description: In preparation for a network security inspection there were multiple deficiencies noted making the system non-compliant with Department Of Defense standards.  These deficiencies included the lack of an approved SSP for any servers.  This project will cover all of the changes and documentation that are needed to bring the system back into compliance. 

2. Project purpose and goals:  The purpose of the project is to achieve system security compliance with both Windows server 2012R2, MSSQL 2014 and IIS while maintaining functionality of both public and private facing websites and databases.  Any deviation from security checks must be documented and approved. 

DESIGN and DEVELOPMENT: 
1. Explain why the problem and technological solution you have proposed are worthy of study: If the system is not brought into compliance standards it will be shutdown which will have a direct and significant impact on training in the Army.  The sites hosted cover unclassified intelligence community training, IT training and Communications training.  There are instructional videos being hosted that are used worldwide and by deployed forces that aid in set up configuration and maintenance of equipment needed to support warfighters. 

2. Projected outcomes and deliverables: Projected outcomes are to have a system that is secure to the maximum extent possible with proper documentation to allow for continued operations.  The SSP will be submitted for approval.  All server, website and database names will be removed from the documentation.  In addition the checklists used will be the publicly available DISA checklists to ensure there is no “Official Use Only” material included. 

3. Estimated number of hours for the following: i. Planning and design: The initial assessment to gauge current level of compliance takes 16 hours per database server and another 16 hours for each Webserver.  With 4 webservers and 1 database server it will take 80 hours to plan out what steps are needed to achieve compliance.  Some of these tasks can be run concurrently between two administrators with assessment being completed on 2 servers at a time.  Therefore 80 man-hours would be 40 work hours.   
ii. Development: Because there are no additional contractors or supplies needed this phase should be relatively quick.  Collecting the requirements together will take an additional 24 hours.  The biggest portion is assigning specific tasks between the two administrators which should be accomplished within another 8 hours. iii. Documentation:  Making necessary changes and documenting those changes will take another 80 man-hours.  Creating the SSP and having it ready for submission should take an estimated 40 hours. iv. Total: 232 man-hours. 

4. Projected completion date: 10 January 2019 
IMPLEMENTATION and EVALUATION: 
1. Describe how you will approach the implementation of your project: Project will be completed by completing publicly available checklists to verify settings in IIS, MSSQL and  Windows Server 2012R2 conform to set standards.  Once those checks are made then those products will be set to conform to the standards to the maximum extent possible with an exceptions being documented in the SSP.  The final evaluation of successful implementation will be an outside organization inspecting the system for compliance IAW DOD standards.

The following are the requirements for the 

A.  Write an abstract (suggested length of 200–250 words) of the project you have selected. Include each of the following:
•   an IT business problem under investigation
•   a proposed solution
•   the project management concerns of concurrently managing multiple projects and how you plan to allocate resources
•   the project stakeholders and an explanation of the needs of each  stakeholder group
•   the key points of your implementation proposal
•   the metrics you will use to measure the proposed and actual outcomes of this project

B.  Write a needs analysis for the project design and development phase. Include each  of the following:
•   the problem and its causes
•   the impact of the problem on each  identified stakeholder group
•   how the solution aligns with industry standards, laws, and regulations

C.  Write a cost analysis for project design and development. Include each  of the following:
•  the itemized costs for hardware, software, licensing, time, labor, and total costs
•  a justification of these costs using research to support your claims

D.  Perform a risk assessment to include each  of the following:
•  the quantitative and qualitative risks associated with your solution
•  a cost/benefit analysis for each  risk
•  a completed “MSITM Capstone Risk Register” template attachment
•  an explanation how you would mitigate each of these risks

E.  Justify your approach to the problem you are solving.

F.  Write a project management plan to manage multiple projects concurrently. Include each  of the following:
•  the resources needed to design and execute the project
•  a justification of each  resource used in the project
•  your plans for allocating resources
•  the existing gaps that a successful project plans to fill and how this will impact other active projects

G.  Write a project plan to design, develop, test, and implement the solution that you chose. Include each  of the following:
•  scope
•  assumptions
•  project phases
•  timelines
•  dependencies
•  risk factors
•  important milestones
•  details of the project launch
•  an explanation of your strategy for implementation
•  documentation deliverables
•  hardware and software deliverables
•  how the final output will be assessed within an evaluation framework of industry standards, regulations, or other accepted criteria

H.  Acknowledge sources, using APA-formatted in-text citations and references, for content that is quoted, paraphrased, or summarized.

I.  Demonstrate professional communication in the content and presentation of your submission.
 

RESPOND TO STUDENT POSTS IN 100 WORDS

CATHERINE POST

 

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) movement is a social movement just like the civil rights movement. This movement fought for the equal rights of the LGBT community. Just like the Civil Rights movement, the LGBT community wanted equal rights and wanted to be a part of civilization without being prejudiced against. Because of this movement same sex marriages are legal. The community is more welcomed than in the past.

JASMINE POST IN 100 WORDS

 

Yes there are many concerns that the LGBT community have. One major concern is the violent acts towards them. I know a couple people under the LGBT community and I know their number one concern is being accepted and not viewed differently by others. However, they worry more about if people will accept them like that when they see them in public or will they react with violence to try and show them that they are not wanted in the community. LGBT communities sacrifice a lot in their life to show others that they are just the same just different in other ways but as a human nothing has changed about them. I know a lot of people who try to show others that they aren't a threat to a environment they just want the same equal rights as everyone else in the world. I agree with them, they should be discriminated against because of their sexual preference. This is so judgmental and nobody in the world has the right to judge anyone because everyone has things going on in their life.

SHYNETTE POST IN 100 WORDS

 

A comparison to the Civil Rights Movement  is the Black Lives Matter which began in 2013 after George Zimmerman was acquitted for killing a 16 year old young African American boy Trayvonn Martin. Black Lies Matter became nationally recognized for its street demonstrations following the 2014 deaths of two African Americans, Michael Brown in Ferguson and Eric Garner in New York City. Black Lives Matter (BLM) regularly holds protest against the police killings of black people, and deeper issues such as racial profiling, police brutality, and racial inequality. In my opinion we still have a long way to go before there is a resolution.

CATHERINE POST 100 WORDS

In October 2017 after the allegations in Harvey Weinstein, the me too movement was started. This movement started in social media with #metoo. This movement was started to protest against sexual assault and harassment. It was a way for women to vocalize their beliefs on how they should be respected and to show survivors they aren’t alone in this situation a solution to the problem will promote healing to all people that have experienced this.

LAKISHA POST 100 WORDS

 

As a result of a young boy's actions in March of 2018, the #Never Again Movement was born by teenagers from Parkland, Florida.  Nicholas Cruz took an AR-15 to school and took the lives of several high school children.  While there has always been a fight against gun control, never has it come from, or at a fast rate, a group of high school kids.  #Never Again has been organized by high school children, with the only involvement from adults being that which is needed where legalities are concerned.  These children has received death threats, as absurd as that may sound, as they are fighting for their lives. They have invited other organizers to join. They were backed by, then, Gov. Rick Scott.  Since, the #Never Again movement is aimed at gun control, they will be significant in the future and with them being young, everyone is listening.

ROSHOUNDA POST IN 50 WORDS

The beauty of nonfiction is that it is centered around the truth which allows the author to be colorful in writing.  A story can always be manipulated even in fact to the advantage of the writer.  I believe the most creative part of nonfiction is when the journey begins, taking you from the page in the book/essay to the water on the lake surrounding boat docks, fishing poles and the smell of fresh fish and grits coming from a cabin.  Or the description of the first time she/he baited a hook for fishing. The story itself if plainly told would be just another story, but the picture developed, the emotions delivered all assist in the creativity.

STEPHANIE POST IN 50 WORDS

 

Hello professor and class. Starting from the beginning nonfiction is a work in it self that is actual in fact that it has already happened. When writing in creative nonfiction we have the opportunity to be creative within ourself and the readers and it allows our imagination to wonder. As per other nonfiction formats like articles or a movie or book review. We must talk about that specific example that is being handed to us. If I want to write a review about the new mine "The Grinch" I can't talk about a totally different movie so our creativity is limited to only speaking about that one piece of art.

CHRISTOPHER POST IN 50 WORDS

 

Often times when i think of creative nonfiction i think of fishing stories the story is factual in the sense that the time place and event are all the same but the size is usually the creative part. Often times creative nonfiction embellishes the story a bit so that you can make it more interesting or help draw in more readers because relief events may lack the gusto and inspiration that the creative version may add. Also it helps the reader to relate to that creativity as well.